When people ask me if "photography is what I ultimately envision myself doing", I respond with a resounding "yes!" It’s a valid question. I guess they see what I do and don’t do. Between being parent, having a day job, committing to side gigs and test shooting on random days off to experiment concepts I tend to overthink in my head, I still somehow managed to make everything work. Of course there’s sacrifices along the way but regardless of all the hoops I go through, the goal has continuously been to protect the passion while doing everything else.
Failure is a scary thing but who knew success had it's own share of baggage. I assume because success instantly creates expectations, it creates accountability and so rather than position ourselves in a place where we fear not being able to meet them, we withdraw from even taking no brainer opportunities that would undoubtedly take us to that next step. In essence, success is just intimidating as failure and for me Paula said it best for those moments in which you talk yourself out of doing something you know you love:
"Every time you hesitate to act and make a decision on what you feel passionate about, you are hitting the pause button on your life. You are pausing something that’ll make you happy…you’re pausing something that’ll inspire your life…you’re pausing something that will enrich your soul…you’re pausing something that will change your perspective and help extend and enrich who you are."
Back in the old days, if you were an avid gamer, you knew that committing yourself to passing a game involved doing it all in one shot. There was no “save and come back later.” In fact, the only thing I could do was hit “pause” and hope I finished my dinner fast enough so I can resume after. If I stayed on “pause” too long the Nintendo would freeze up and restart itself. Moral of the story…stop hitting pause and keep going!